A great requote from my favourite Brain Guy Terry Small “When working with people, assume good intentions. When listening to people, interpret their words in a generous way. You will occasionally get burned and mistreated by always assuming the best in others, but it is a far better way to live than the opposite”, J Clear.
What came up for me is how to deal with being burned or mistreated and if that is reality or a creation. To be flame proof you would have to have a thick exterior covering which would make you resistant to feeling and the point is one that I’ve mentioned before, it’s my take or viewpoint on what’s being said that creates the feelings.
In sport, we deal with ourselves more than others! When I’ve been told I’m looking good and I’m 30 seconds behind the main pack, it’s not a statement that I agree with and would have argued with given the chance. Understanding that it’s encouragement and that yes, I do look good, thank you!, would be more beneficial to my performance. I always liked it when someone else in the peloton had the same name as me, then I’d get cheers from all kinds of spectators!
When it’s not encouragement though, criticism can hurt when it strikes a chord with us or pushes a button that trots out an old memory, goes down the habit path. To pull back and recognize that someone is saying something that has created a response in you, and it may not have been intended in the way you think, is a sign of your awareness.
Sitting and looking at what they may have said, it’s not easy to think that they may be right?! (But you didn’t want to hear it just the same), or the disappointment is something they’re feeling (it’s not about you, it’s them), or you’re just not very good at your sport (ha! that’s an easy one, yes I am!).
What can we use as a shield to protect us in the face of an attack that comes from the outside or is self inflicted? Reflecting and deflecting. The reflection is to consider and to understand, the deflection is to prevent it from penetrating your being. Having a witty response can work well. I have to laugh whenever I’m with one of my friends who can deliver a quick retort to a rude person. Then there’s the folk who can call it like it is, Fauci into the hot mike, saying “What a moron”.
In sport and in life, there’s no point in taking it too seriously; you can be serious about your training, pay attention to what matters in your sport, strive and create habits that support your intention and even have it be your life for a short or long time providing that you can laugh, enjoy it, have fun with it and the people around you.
What’s strong with me day 28